13 Benefits of Death by Strangulation

Why Being Choked To Death Could Be A Good Way To Go

Strangling - strangersonatrain

  1. It’s a surprise. Death is coming one day, you worry. No more worries. It’s here!
  2. You get human contact during your last seconds alive.
  3. Internet research says death-by-strangulation takes long enough that you’ll have a chance to see your life pass before your eyes in a more thorough way than a shooting death, yet not long enough to be maudlin or, worse, boring.
  4. It will be a good, no, great, story for family and friends for years or even decades, to come.
  5. Your organs will be in fine shape should you opt to donate your cadaver for medical research.
  6. Your organs will be intact, if you chose to have your parts reused by others after you croak.
  7. While it would be a challenge to do a Selfie at such an event, there’s bound to be time enough for a passerby or even the perpetrator to pop on a smartphone for a final video or snap.
  8. It’s a conversation starter. Or stopper, depending on the audience.
  9. If you’ve chosen post-mortem casket-viewing, the only special prop required by the mortician will be a shirt or blouse with a high collar.
  10. Your existence and demise will be recorded and kept as part of a police report most likely, thus making you part of history.
  11. You’ll surprise a lot of friends and family who never thought anything like that could happen to someone like you. Whatever, “someone like you,” means.
  12. The strangler will walk around with you, their victim, popping into their thoughts every so often. You two are forever linked. Like it or not.
  13. There are so many worse ways to go out… Google it.
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